There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
