Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
