Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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