I hate your face
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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