id be glad to
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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