I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
