actually, I'm a sock model
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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