I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
