dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
