K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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