It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
