hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
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I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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