The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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