And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
