Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
FUCK WHALES
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
