really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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