It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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