If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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