I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
