She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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