I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
