My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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