I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
