just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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