She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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