Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
