he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
