So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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