Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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