hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
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Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
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I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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