also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
