just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
No I am not eating basil off your cock
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
