She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
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I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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