Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
