Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Please, let me fuck your mom
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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