can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
