3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
