The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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