u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I don't deserve a penis
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
