After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
