I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
