Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
