Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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