i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize