STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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