So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
