Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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