He is an equal opportunity slut.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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