i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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