This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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