so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
