I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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