1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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