I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize