Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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