i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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